Ponderings of Recent Days

I sit here tonight all alone. Its been a really long time since I’ve not had someone at home with me 24/7. my husband flew out on Sunday for a job. We don’t know how long he will be gone. School is out, and the kids left for their dad’s today. Earlier than I had expected, I’m alone.

Its time for bed, and all of the troubles of my life come rushing in. A conversation with my 12 year old son echos in my head. He doesn’t want to be home schooled again. He says that I’m not a teacher and I’m the reason he’s behind now. A blow to my self esteem if there has ever been one.

afternoon tea in the sun

photo credit: Melissa Gray

Falling back into bad habits.

I’ve been spending a lot of time doing research, learning new things and generally not being domestic what-so-ever. I love learning, its a wonderful addiction. But yes, its an addiction. I have fabric sorted by color on my sofa that needs a home, a couple baskets of laundry that need to be folded and put away. At least 2 loads of my own clothes the be washed, not to mention linens. Geez! My habits are horrible!

I’ve been sleeping late, and staying up very late. I’ve never been a night owl, but for the last 18 months, I can’t sleep normal hours. I end up sleeping 4 hours, getting up for a few hours, and back to bed for another 4. No, its not conventional. I won’t even mention my midnight snacking.

Unreachable Goals

I set goals all the time. I just never seem to reach those goals. Am I being to hard on myself? I think not. I really don’t like goals. I love how others can use them, but they just don’t work for me. When I write out a to do list, if there are more than 3 things on it, just don’t worry about me getting half of it done! It’s horrible isn’t it?!

I really want to be a WAHM, and so far I’m loving what I’m learning on a new WAHM Forum that I’m on. I get a lot of support, and the ladies there are so friendly, its like I’ve been there forever. Making enough money to stay at home with my kids is my goal, but how much is that exactly…I really don’t know. What would it take for you to stay at home with your kids?

photo credit: delphaber

Is there really balance?

I’ve struggled to find balance since I became a mom. I’m not sure that balance exists. What I’m coming to realize is that instead of balancing work and play, you must join them. Add the kids to the work, and add mom to the play. Let the kids help with your WAHM projects. Teach them what you are doing, so that they can do it also. Work with your husband on what he enjoys, and find a way to use that time for yourself. Does this make sense at all? There is no balance, there is just life and how you live it.

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May 29, 2010 | Filed Under Family

Comments

http://www.justourthoughts.com LaDonna

good post. lots of thoughts. i can't imagine being totally alone in my house (except for the pets).
http://4gurlzandaguy.blogspot.com/ Stephanie

Thanks for writing this, I think I needed this.
I know how hard its been for you this week, Keep your chin up (been telling myself that too) Oh and your 12 year old not wanting to homeschool is prolly just that age n stage…. I went thru it when I was homeschooled and was horrrible for my mom. It took me awhile to realize that my mom had my best interest at heart. So stick to your guns if you feel like homeschooling is what you want to do.
http://desperate-for-coffee.blogspot.com Katie

I would do absolutely anything to work from home with my son and make the same amount of money that I do now. It's not an option to go to a lower salary because I'm pretty much at my bottom here.

It's completely understandable to have some laundry not done, the whole domestic thing is over-rated anyways. Martha Stewart doesn't even have small kids anymore, that's how she keeps her house so clean.

It's ok to rest and relax. Let the kids do some of the work. Even my 4 year old loves to wash windows.

Enjoy your weekend!
http://polkaspotfarm.com Christi

If I can be a WAHM you can! Really, Its not as hard as you think, just come up with what you enjoy, and find a way to make money online. It's work, but its not as bad as working away from home. Just make sure you are passionate about what you pick. Let me know if you wanna chat about it or anything.
http://polkaspotfarm.com Christi

I know that his age has a lot to do with it, but I just don't know how to get past it, and it work.
http://polkaspotfarm.com Christi

Katie If I can be a WAHM you can! Really, Its not as hard as you think, just come up with what you enjoy, and find a way to make money online. It's work, but its not as bad as working away from home. Just make sure you are passionate about what you pick. Let me know if you wanna chat about it or anything.