We’ve laughed and we’ve cried

If you are unfamiliar with my marriage story thus far, I’ll just give you a brief update. On March 19th Scott, now my husband, was helping out a young mom with her car. There was gas. There was ignition. There was a trip to the ER. On March 20th we were married in a very short ceremony that my husband barely remembers because of the pain medication he was on. A few days later, my son was in the ER for dehydration and the next night my husband was admitted to the Burn Unit because his 2nd and 3rd degree burns were infected.
My husband was in a lot of pain for two weeks. The first day without pain meds, we took the kids to the river for a short ride and walk on the sand bar. It was wonderful! That night he flopped around in the bed like a fish out of water.
The kidney stone required a trip to the local ER, a CT Scan and of course….more pain medications. Um…yeah. Without really putting this into un kid friendly terms, pain meds and the pain itself have really made sure we didn’t die of consumption (you know what I mean, if you’ve ever watched Fool’s Gold, if not, drop me a line and I’ll explain in more adult terms).
I’ve cried. I’ve tried not to show how hard this has been on me. I’ve cried. We’ve argued. We’ve tried to make the best of things.
After Easter and spring break with 5 kids, we decided to make another trip to the ER , hoping to be admitted to the hospital for Lithotripsy. (Where they use sound waves to break up kidney stones small enough to pass).
We arrived at the same hospital with the Burn Unit, where we were a few weeks back. Walked in, they took him back and told him…NO UROLOGISTS HERE! We went on referral of 2 others who had their procedures done at another hospital, yet thought it was at this place. Um no.
You can only imagine his aggravation level, especially being without his pain medication since the morning before.
Now imagine when you walk up to your vehicle, get the keys out of your pocket, and realize you don’t have the right set of keys and only have an ignition key. No door key. No keyless entry. Nothing. Well, not nothing, we had a hatchet, a pipe wrench and an antennae.
That, didn’t work. Well it did, but only when the hatchet went through the driver’s side window.
*sigh*
So off to the next hospital ER. Urologist? Check! Security guard watching over our now unsafe to leave in the parking lot truck….well he was there, but no check 
Off we go. Another 2 hours of driving to change trucks, to the one that doesn’t fit in the parking garage or that I feel comfy driving with anyone else on the road beside me. Yeah, its jacked up, drives strange and we are in the downtown congested area where the streets were made for horse and buggy. Great.
More poking and prodding, x-rays and CT Scans were made.
When my husband was called back to the ER for the final “ I’m gonna get to see a doctor, trip to the back, not just for them to him a cup and tell him where the restroom is” trip, we were put into triage, where they pretty much treat the worse case first. Apparently my husband’s illness wasn’t as bad as others, or something. After about 30 minutes of trying to sit on a very very squeaky, slippery stool we started hearing voices.
The nurse was asking the man 2 beds down from us about his symptoms and such. Hearing voices was the one of the main ones that concerned me and my husband, along with schizophrenia, drinking a case of bear plus ½ to 1 gallon of whiskey a day! Within minutes, he was out of there, no doctors talked to him…nothing. Quite interesting while it lasted though. The voices were having fun with him is all I’m saying. And a very important part of this story is that he was moved to the 2nd floor. Remember this 2nd Floor is the psych ward, mmm-kay?
So the doctor comes in. Cool guy really. I liked him a lot. He drew pictures before the night was over and used the words “Tool” and “Johnson”. Not sure what he was talking about, but I don’t think those are medical terms for parts of the anatomy. Wish I would have kept the pictures he drew to show you guys, really…it was fun. Anyways the best part was that my husband was on pain meds from that point. He slept a couple hours, and I watched cable! George Lopez rocks!
Well that’s until we turned the boob tube off. Paramedics brought in this guy that had been working on the hospital cafeteria. He’d collapsed outside. Yeah they called and ambulance to take him about 100 feet to the ER. He needed that.
The man came in talking, answering questions. They asked his name over and over, he answered or his boss answered. The 57 year old man named Mike answered the first 5 didgets of his social security number with no problem, but the last 4 he hesitated. Started moaning in pain. Then we heard the doctor telling him calmly to be still and breathe normally because he was having a heart attack.
About 6-8 feet from our “room” that had curtain walls. A man was having a heart attack.
There was moaning, running, nurses and doctors calling out orders, repeating themselves.
“5,000 volts, clear”
In about 25 minutes from the time the man entered the ER. The man had electricity run through his body 4 times.
We heard it
We felt it…in our hearts.
We prayed and tried to keep each other calm and not cry, especially when we heard…

“Oh God!………..I’m going!….I’m going!…..I’m going!….”

The pumping of his heart, the blood splattering, machines moved in and out, carts moved around, footsteps of at least 10 people…..the sounds….of a man in so much pain….he died.
Time of death was called. Prayers were lifted to our Lord for his soul, his wife that could not be reached and his daughter.
You never know do you? All of our discussions later came around to his salvation. In 57 years, did this man take Jesus as his savior? In the last moments of his life, he was calling his name but….

Hours went by.
Finally we were being moved upstairs. A urologist would be up to see us by 7am. I jokingly told Scott that I’d arranged to have him placed in a special room, with pillows all over the walls. Ha! He laughed! The orderly didn’t…I didn’t notice it at the time at all.
We were on a strange hallway. There were a lot of smaller nurses stations. Hmm…maybe they changed things but more nurses is a good thing, right? Around the corner, down a bit and a sharp turn into a room that looked like the burn unit wound care rooms, or those special rooms on House with the glass wall so ur like a fish in a fishtank and everyone can see you.
Except there was more stuff in there, crammed stuff. It was so small. Like the size of my largest, but still small bathroom. My husband asked where the potty was, and the metal toilet was pointed out…that you pull out under the sink.
Talk about a bad feeling when you have to poop!
Of course he let his feelings be known that he needed a bathroom, a real one, and soon. The new nurse said there was a public toilet down the hallway, and something about that Mr. I hear voices from the ER was his new neighbor! WHAT!
Our “special” room was for those “crazies” that like to hop out of bed all the time. That was almost a direct quote from the night nurse. Um yeah….he was in a “special room”!!!!
So we were being moved, to a better room on the hallway within 5 minutes. Great thing I tell you! Great thing!
He walked out to find a more private potty, then the nurse came to show me to our new room.
I walked in. Put my things away. Scott was down the hall at the public potty, so I was gonna run potty myself.
You know how you have those flashes of ideas? No? well I do. A picture of a “crazy person” crouched down in our bathroom hiding from the nurses was all that I could see.
I just knew that would never happen, right?!!!
I opened the door and….
A BIG HAIRY, NAKEY MAN WAS SITTING ON THE POTTY!!!
OK, now I’ll tell you that the room I’d told my husband about was a joke, I was teasing him. When I thought that the man in the ER wasn’t just kidding around and really had Schizophrenia, I was just guessing…thinking how weird would that be. When Mike was coding, I thought ….what if….nah!
Seriously, I had to do a double take! The BIG HAIRY NAKED MAN SITTING ON THE POTTY, looked at me. I looked at him. He was kinda crouched over so I didn’t see HIM, but I was only about 2 feet away from him at this point.
The man said “Do you mind?!”
I closed the door….and cracked up! I was crying I was laughing so hard!
My husband was told what room to go to first, before I got there without my knowledge. There were no locks on the door of course…it’s the Psych floor…
He didn’t think it was quite as funny as I did, but it was funny.
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Sometimes you have to laugh at all the things going wrong in your life. I know that I do, if I didn’t…..2nd floor here I come.
Friday morning at 10:30 they are gonna blow his stone to bits…I hope. I really pray we are at home safe and in no pain in a day or two. I’ll let you know. In the mean time, don’t listen to those voices in your head, especially if they tell you there is a crazy person in your bathroom….
The saga continues…..

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